An Open Letter To My Stomach

(This is a revisited post from my old blog)

stomach

Dear Stomach,

Hey there!  I haven’t seen you since I last looked down!  How’ve you been? Mr. Big Time now, eh?

Remember the good old days, when things were simpler? No? Me neither.  It’s never been simple for us.

When we were young, people commended us for being a “healthy eater”, but now that we’re older, that term has a whole new meaning.  We need to learn to embrace the new meaning and let go of the old one.

We’ve shared some good times over the years.  All-you-can-eat lobster, Chinese food buffets, the Pennsylvania Dutch smorgasbords (seconds on shoo-fly pie? YES please!), and numerous other treats.

Remember when you and I could share a seat on an airplane? I’m really tired of having to buy you your own seat. Remember going to the beach? You were so excited to be in the water while we body surfed. Now you just wanna float all day. Not cool. At one time, you and I had options for decorating you with clothing. Aren’t you tired of being limited to were we can shop? I am.  And I am really tired of you coming between my toes and I. Every time I look down to see my toes, you get in the way. Not cool man. And on the topic of body parts living in your shadow – you know who I’m taking about – I’d like to see my buddy again. I’ve heard that weight loss will make him grow (well, make the area around him shrink to make him appear larger) and frankly, I want to see that.

You’ve served me well in my life, but it has come time to change our relationship, to regain what we once had. It has come to my attention that you are working harder than you need to be, that is why I am putting a plan in place to reduce your workload.

See, recently, when I met with the surgeon, and she and I discussed what would be best to reduce your workload and make us more efficient, things have changed. In the past months, you and I have worked hard to give you less to do. The name of the game was “quality over quantity” for your new job. I delivered better quality goods for you to process.  So instead of having to process a lot of unnecessary stuff, you got the important essentials and were able to specialize in these.  Over the next few weeks, it will be crucial, because once we’ve mastered that, things really change.

Part of the next conversation with the surgeon will be about you and I parting ways. This will hopefully happen sooner than later, Don’t worry, you and I will still be able to go everywhere together, but let’s say that you won’t have such a big presence in my life, but will carry an important presence in my life.

It’ll take time, but I know you and I will enjoy our new life together.  Of course they’ll be a period of adjustment and healing, but we’re strong and we’ll get through it.

You’ve always been there for me, for better or worse, and trust me when I tell you that this is for the best. This will strengthen our relationship, make us more efficient, and let us spend more quality time with each other, doing what we were designed to do.

I look forward to working with you.

Sincerely,

Jeff

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s